Three Conversations to Have With Your Spouse

We have all had those moments where we finally have alone time with our spouse and we find that we can’t think of something to talk about. Our brain could be fried from work or we could feel overwhelmed from a day with the kids. We can muster up a ‘how’s your day?’ which are usually followed up by a “fine” or “good.” When we do not take time to let our spouse into our day then you both miss the opportunity to connect and support each other. Here are three questions to ask your spouse that fosters much-needed conversation:


  1. “What was your high and low of the day?”

This is asking what is the best and the worst part of their day.

Caution: Do not give advice here. This is not a time for correction or telling your spouse what they should have done. This is a time to be curious about what it is like for them and to ask questions that show you are listening and caring.


  1. “What are you looking forward to next week and what are you most nervous about?”

Very similar to the high/low conversations, however this conversation is about future events.

Idea: When your spouse shares about what they are most excited about and nervous about with the upcoming week, put those items on the calendar. Then text your spouse to let them know you are thinking about them and supporting them.


  1. “What is your dream or goal for 2017?”

Since we are still early in 2017, this is a great time for the both of you to dream together of what you would like to see happen in 2017. Share your goals for 2017 for yourself and then the two of you dream up what you want to accomplish as a couple or a family. For example, your goal could be that you want to read four books this year. Your family goal could be that you all want to take walks together one night a week.

Hint: When your spouse shares their goals, ask how you can help or support them in that goal.


Try these questions with your spouse and see the difference that open-ended questions make. If you are running into road-blocks in conversation with your spouse, I would like to invite you to a marriage workshop called ” 7 Conversations to Enrich Your Marriage.” It is a 3-day event that will walk you through conversations every couple should have with each other. The feedback from couples on this workshop has been incredible and it is highly recommended. The next workshop is in March 2017 and you can find out more information at

-Lindsey Castleman, marriage and family counselor and co-creator of the marriage workshop “7 Conversations to Enrich Your Marriage.”   Connect with Lindsey at